Caught in a storm!!

I am in the midst of applying for MBA programs at various schools. After taking GMAT in Sep (on 19th), I spent few months to prepare apps for schools, numerous hours to read, re-read, proof-read, and re-proof-read the apps, and few days to submit the apps. Even though I had few weeks to prepare the apps, I took until the last minutes to click the "submit" button. (Haha... I am perplexed why I waited till the last minute. I believe the attitude is in my blood, that I wait till my adrenaline shoots to those tsunami levels!) Nonetheless, I submitted the apps on time.

After a month submitting the app, today, I am waiting for the results from one of my dream schools - MIT. I put lot of creativity into preparing the app, discussed ideas with many friends numerous times, and created a deadly app (at least I think so). In the process, I formed an unknown relationship with the school and hope to get into the school. In a way, I am obsessed with the school now. This obsession and these "vanity" hopes have put a heavy rock on my small soft heart - I feel the pain, which is caused by the weight/wait.

I look at my emails at least once in every hour, refresh the screen every few minutes to check for any new emails, scavenge through online forums for that one piece of info whether other people on this earth received invites from the school, shoot emails/messages to friends, and read blogs to get any insight into the current situation. Trudging through these strenuous moments for the past few weeks.... waiting for the decision!!

My brain tells my heart not to be so obsessed with the result. In or out, the result has to be dealt with maturity. My brain prepares my heart for the worst (which is to expect a ding (reject)). It preaches that wild obsession is wrong. With the immense competition for limited number of seats, schools have become terribly picky and competitive. It makes sense, thus, not to have any hopes what-so-ever about the admission. Nonetheless, the anxiety of the heart sometimes annuls the capacity, to think objectively, of the brain. Hearts tends to be optimistic, masking the analytical prowess of the brain, which makes some highly intelligent calls. Those are the moments when I get caught in this "unknown" storm, which arises from the question - What is the result? I want to know it now, at this moment, at this second!

Anyways, I am writing this article to remind my heart not to overpower my brain. After reading this passage my brain can find solace and regain control of my heart by puncturing that "virtual" bubble of hope. Only God knows what is the end-result of this journey; whether I get accepted, waitlisted, or dinged. One thing is for sure though - I can still enjoy this part of life without worrying about the result. On the other hand, the result may put me to work anyway - whether preparing for the interview or preparing another application for a different school.

During these troubled moments, my brain reminds my heart to enjoy life no matter what the result is. It reminds my heart of those gaMillion instances when the heart endured gaZillion heavy loads in this numero-uno life. But at times, however, my super-fast mega-intelligent brain has to prod the heart to never, ever, never, ever, never....ever.... get caught in this deadly storm!!